www.bubbastheory.com

When God made the fishes of the sea, he took some of them and made some deer, so that his children could hunt and fish!

BUBBA'S THEORIES

1) Man did not evolve from apes! We are still apes, look in the mirror after 3 days at the deer camp!
2) If I have to put up with your crap, you should have to put up with mine, It's called unconditional LOVE!
3) 98% of all statistics are wrong!
4) Studies show that couples have sex three time a week on average, those men that aren't, are deer hunters!
5) If you pray for something, but then still fret and worry over it, you're not really a believer!
6) Dogs are the best judge of character!
7) If you don't like your job, don't bitch, QUIT!
8) If you don't like it, you better tell Momma, or she'll keep cooking it!
9) If you voted for the Democrat, this crap is your fault!
10) Men are from Mars, women are from Uranus. (It's OK ladies, you won't be the first female I pissed off)
11) The quote, that the eyes are the window to the soul, it's true, when someone looks at you with dead eyes, you know where you stand with them. Avoid those people and don't get dragged down in to hell!
12) When you are in total darkness, it only takes a small glimmer of light for you to find your way! (Technically that's 1 lumen)
13) If there was no deer season, life would not be worth living, except for the kids and grandbabies.
14) A deer camp is a fraternity, like people, like personalities, and like humor and hopefully drink the same brand of beer and smoke good cigars!
15) Unhappy people tend to get away from what makes them unhappy or they stay unhappy!
16) Hunting is a way of life, not a hobby, build a bridge and get over it!
17) Drinking plenty of beer makes other people more interesting!
18) If your wife doesn't hunt and doesn't like you to hunt, ya probably need a new wife!
19) God made fish and then deer for men to catch and hunt. Whether fish evolved into deer is in question, but if God wanted to do it that way, he could! Matt. 19 : 26, "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible."
20) I believe in evolution, but I believe that God made us to evolve. I think that God, being all knowing, knew how much we would screw up things, so he designed us to evolve to adjust to our screw ups. I truly believe that with God, all things are possible. Who am I to say that He would or won't design us that way! I don't presume to know what's in Gods plan for us, so I never say that God would not have designed things to evolve. He probably inspired Darwin to come up with his theory! Amen!
21) If you have to ask your wife if you can get into a hunting club, you ain't getting in, cause the answer is NO!
22) If you're a nut case going into a psychiatrist's office, you're going to still be a nut case when you come out.
23) Love will make some people do strange things and usually against their better judgment.
24) A friend told me that a beer is a sandwich in a can, he's right!
25) Deer hunt every day that you can, hopefully today, for tomorrow you may die!
26) Men should be driven away from the herd, just like young bucks after all the wanted babies are born!
27) All of those who want the government to take care of you, raise your hands! Now you pay for it!
28) No matter where you go, there you are!
29) You'll never get your share, if you don't show up!
30) I may not be the best at what I do, but the best call me sometimes for advice.
31) Bubba's Diet Plan - Don't eat so much and get off your butt and get some exercise!
32) Horizontal stripes aren't making you look fat, it's the fat that makes you look fat!
33) A lazy man will always invent an easier way to do any task!
34) When eating boiled crawfish, wash your hands before you pee!
35) Cutting grass and weed eating makes beer taste better.
36) Hot dogs on the grill is not a bar-b-que!
37) The past doesn't seem so bad now, the present doesn't seem to be so good, and thank God that I don't know the future.
38) Sometimes when you've reached the bottom, wait, you can still go down some more!
39) The less your lips move, the smarter you get!
40) If you sneeze, cough, hiccup, and fart at the same time, it will kill you!
41) People get finicky when they work for free!
42) Why settle for hamburger, when you have hamburger at home!
43) If you're driving down a dirt road to get home, you must live in heaven!
44) Erectile Disfunction is caused by wives.
45) You can't make a silk purse out of a sows ear, but you can make a damn good football with it!
46) Women really believe that men can't tell the difference between a Yoplait fart and a Alpo fart.
47) Life is like a dick, it sometimes gets hard for no reason!

48) When you're young, it takes 5 years for a year to go by and when you get old, it take 5 minutes for a year to go by!

49) You learn by your mistakes, that's why I'm near genius!